31 May 1997 - A BUTLER
I've stopped being a movie director because it became boring. I have a new job now as a butler.
I work in a big house owned by Lord Bibby Snott Toddy III. He's a strict employer, but also a fair one. When I put one pea too many on his plate last night - which I accept I shouldn't have done - he tied me to a lampost and filled my mouth with sand. When I apologised too much, he kneecapped me and threw me in a quarry.