Perfume Counter/Scent Designer
12 June 1996 - PERFUME COUNTER
I've been asked to come up with a new range of perfumes for domestic use. I have called them Home Fumes.
The first is a light scent intended to make kids feel free, which I made from old, wet salad and collagen. This is to be known as Beginner.
The flagship scent is made from a latex substitute. Unfortunately, after a while, it glues the nostrils shut.
14 June 1996 - SCENT DESIGNER
I've concluded my perfume-inventing work on the Home Fumes range.
My final domestic scents are Rural Finish, a delightful concoction produced by steeping bits of blueish puppet material in a bowl of sour wasp spit, and Flammable Clansman.
Flammable Clansman is made out of a load of old flags which I sat on to make them stink.