Toy Designer
28/3/97-1/4/97
28 March 1997 - TOY DESIGNER
I've been designing toys like a lunatic. My latest masterpiece is called the "The Hairy Robot". It's an electric robot man that rolls around your carpet and picks up hair - but only if you remember to cover it in glue first.
I did have one design rejected last night. It was called "The Terrible Wand". My boss was studying the harmless-looking wand, and accidentally pressed the button which makes battery acid shoot out of the top.
29 March 1997 - TOY DESIGNER
I've been designing a range of pocket money toys for poor children. The toys will all be priced at 97p and feature colourful styling.
The first toy is "The Revolting Lump". I scooped a load of matter out of my bathroom plughole, and thought what a wonderful toy it'd make. We have begun mass-producing "Revolting Lumps" in a forty-foot replica of my sink. I also designed "Young Malcolm". It's basically a couple of pegs on a chain.
31 March 1997 - TOY DESIGNER
I've been designing a range of licensed toys based around the popular TV series "Only Fools and Horses".
First off the production line will be a series of blister-packaged action figures of Del-Boy, Rodney and Uncle Albert. Also available will be a scale replica of that stupid yellow van. The figures come equipped with unique action features. Del has a "Power Punch" action, while Rodney's spring-powered "High Karate Kick" is sure to be a winner.
1 April 1997 - TOY DESIGNER
We've extended our range of Only Fools and Horses action figures to include minor characters.
You'll soon be able to get hold of Boycey (with "Chest-Concealed Rocket Launcher"), Trigger (with "Pivoting Wrist Action"), and Del-Boy's bird, whatever her name is. We're also producing a playset replica of Del-Boy's flat, which is stuffed with special features, and comes packaged with an exclusive figure of a slightly younger Del-Boy.
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