The Man With A Long Chin's Diary


At The Fish Farm


13/9/95 - AT THE FISH FARM

I got into trouble today at work for climbing into the fish tank with my friend Dally.

I'd made him a gateau and was helping him munch it when my boss came over and threw a load of spaghetti over me.

The fish went into a frenzy and my cake broke apart in the water. I lost sight of Dally as my boss dragged me out of the tank.

14/9/95 - AT THE FISH FARM

My boss has locked me in the fish food hopper until I get over my obsession with Dally the koi carp.

It's awful. I can't stop thinking about him and his family.

I had a dream last night that I was like Dally, and able to swim alongside him, laughing and telling jokes. In the dream we visited an undersea land called Ruppal, where the fish dress like mods.

16/9/95 - AT THE FISH FARM

My boss feels so guilty about what he's done to Dally the koi carp's family, he's turned the fish farm into an adventure playground for fish!

In one tank, fish are pumped repeatedly through a tube at faster and faster speeds until they don't want to do it any more. In another, fish fly along a rubber chute into a cushion. They don't like that one as much.

18/9/95 - AND HIS FISH

Today is a sad day. I took Dally the koi carp to the fun fair as a treat.

You should have seen his little mouth, all purple and smiley. I took photos of him going down the helter-skelter and by the ghost train, but these are all I have left now.

You see, I was buying a snack when Dally flipped off my shoulder and plunged into the candy floss machine.


We held a small funeral for Dally the koi carp today. A couple of my friends were pall bearers, carrying the sock we put Dally in.

We got on a ferry, and I threw Dally's sock over the side, but the wind caught it and the thing landed in an old woman's hair. She was so appalled that she complained to the captain, who scrunched it up and threw it at a lighthouse.

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