The Man With A Long Chin's Diary


Being A Copper


27 May 1994 - BEING A COPPER

This morning I made my first arrest. I sent a blue monster to the "pen" for twenty years, in case he bit anybody else.

Sergeant Swiss was very impressed. He rewarded me with a medal made from a chicken nugget. It looks golden in a certain light.

28 May 1994 - BEING A COPPER

Sergeant Swiss has appointed me a new partner. He's called PC Peasey, and his skin is fit to burst with tales of terror.

We went out on patrol and Peasey told me about the time that his retina was eaten by a giant bird. He says it was a heron. A porry more like!

30 May 1994 - BEING A COPPER

PC Peasey and myself were sent to the scene of a crime last night in some bungalow on the far side of town.

Inside, the furniture was all broken, and sitting in the hearth of the fireplace was a foul, genetically-altered, puffer-fish. It had a bicycle seat coming out of its nose.

31 May 1994 - BEING A COPPER

PC Peasey and myself were attacked by a rhesus monkey whilst at lunch yesterday.

We apprehended the felon near a petrol station, where he was attempting to sell PC Peasey's knickers to the station manager. I blew a gigantic, oily bubble which killed PC Peasey!

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