The Man With A Long Chin's Diary


Being A Geneticist


19 April 1996 - BEING A GENETICIST

After conducting some experiments at home, I've decided to set myself up as a mobile geneticist. My new company is called Clone Alone.

My first call-out was to an old people's home, where some old dear's last wish was to see her dog cross bred with a bowl of cereal.

When it inevitably went wrong, I tried to cheer her up by making a joke about Snap, Crackle and Woof.

20 April 1996 - BEING A GENETICIST

I received an emergency call from a glue factory in Leeds last night.

It transpired that a stray dog had wandered in and was frightening the machine operators by barking loudly and whistling through its broken teeth.

The manager reasoned that the best way to control the animal was to genetically remove its barking gland. The hidden benefit was that this could be used to make a Pritt Stick.

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