Being A Sub Captain

23 April 1996 - BEING A SUB CAPTAIN

I lost my geneticist licence after trying to cross a sea cucumber with a coroner!

But it's OK: I've got a new job as a submarine commander working for a breakaway Soviet republic.

I've been ordered to patrol the waters around Britain and disrupt shipping lanes by surfacing in front of boats and putting on an adult revue. This affects most crews so profoundly that they mutiny.

24 April 1996 - BEING A SUB CAPTAIN

My Communist paymasters have now ordered me to search for sympathetic civilisations on the ocean floor.

I encountered one called The Jam-Jars, but some of their practices were not in keeping with Marxist doctrine. For instance, every morning they have to denounce Marxist doctrine.

Also, in the evening they have to watch a TV show about the adverse effects of Marxist doctrine.

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