The Man With A Long Chin's Diary


Being A Sculptor


12 November 1994 - BEING A SCULPTOR

I've created a number of exciting sculptures for my forthcoming exhibition. I plan to greet visitors with a stunning piece entitled "Spankles".

It's a load of webs strapped to a kebab.

Another sculpture is above I call The Mast, who is basically a car.[sic]

14 November 1994 - BEING A SCULPTOR

Visitors to my sculpture show will be delighted by Yentson 23 - a massive effigy of Mehmet who used to be in EastEnders.

Other exhibits include TT Spite - a spike on a rack, and Bolo - a bike on a kite. The final piece, Yentson 24, is a brake on a path.

15 November 1994 - BEING A SCULPTOR

My triumphant sculpture show was disrupted yesterday by the man who does the Speaking Clock, Isotope Owens.

He rushed up to Mason 9, a snake on a frame, and pushed it over onto Fire-Doddy, a plant on a sheet. He shouted that my work was an affront to Daleks, Cybermen and The Hobbit.

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