18 November 1994 - PATERNITY SUIT
Scientists working on behalf of my lawyers have proved beyond doubt that AG Hearne is not my son.
They drained all the fluid out of my hat, and fed it to Hearne. He was so sick, that his mother admitted her deceit. She has vowed to go mad and kill me.
19 November 1994 - PATERNITY SUIT
It seems old girl Boilio has been as good as her word about exacting revenge for her failed paternity suit.
My fridge was mysteriously turned off in the night, and soured cornballs got clogged in the salad crisper. If I'd eaten any, I could easily have been damaged.