17 April 1999 - CELEBRITY BODYGUARD
I've got a new job now as a bodyguard to international celebrities. The first famous person I have been hired to protect is that fromer staple of the BBC's creative youth output, Tony Hart.
Last night I had to accompany Mr Tony to a restaurant, where he ate a bowl of hard boiled eggs. Later, as we were getting into the limo, Mr Tony was mobbed by a crowd of fans. I managed to distract them briefly by flashing the headlights on and off, but it didn't stop them from overturning the car.
19 April 1999 - CELEBRITY BODYGUARD
I'd happily die for any of my clients, and last night I almost did die when my current clients, Jon and Ponch out of early 1980's motorcycle cop drama CHiPs, accidentally drove their van over a cliff. Luckily for them the van became snagged on a branch, but I risked my life hauling them back up.
Later, as we sat around the camp fire, we were able to laugh about the incident, but I think both Jon and Ponch will think twice before having another waterfight while driving.
20 April 1999 - CELEBRITY BODYGUARD
I've been assigned to guard chirpy Liverpudlian game show host Tom O'Connor as he does a national tour of working men's clubs and bingo halls. Tom's a nice enough sort, but his fans are a little over-zealous. Many of them arrive at gigs dressed like Tom - right down to the hair and socks.
After the show they hang around by the fire exit waiting for Tom to emerge. Usually we have to smuggle him into the tour bus beneath a blanket.