Haunted Christmas House
22 December 1997 - HAUNTED CHRISTMAS HOUSE
I'm intending to spend the Christmas period in a haunted house once owned by Ebeneezer Scrooge. At least, that's what the landlord says. But then, the landlord is a also a convicted clock thief.
My bedroom is cosy enough, though I'm not sure about the blood that pours down the walls at midnight, and I'm not too keen on the way the bed keeps being raised off the floor and exploding. When it happened last night one of the mattress springs speared my nightshirt.
24 December 1997 - HAUNTED CHRISTMAS HOUSE
Last night I was visited by The Ghost Of Christmas Present. When I asked him where my present was, he just looked a little confused and sad. He explained that there are lots of people who don't spend Christmas in haunted houses, and that I'd have a much better time if I was staying in a normal house.
When I asked if I could stay at his house, he said that he didn't have one, and actually lives in a space caravan with The Canterville Ghost.
25 December 1997 - HAUNTED CHRISTMAS HOUSE
I've decided to change my ways after I was visited by The Ghost Of Christmas Future. He showed me a video which explained a little of how the future will be.
Apparently, the future will be ruled by a giant face which lives in the sun, and its will on earth will be carried out by four brightly-coloured creatures who receive instructions via a number of periscope loudspeakers. The four creatures, which also have televisions in their stomachs, believe that repetition is the new religion.