The Man With A Long Chin's Diary


Healing Feet


29 July 1994 - HEALING FEET

My first client has been and gone. It was "Them!", the popular giant ants.

Four of them were led into my office by my ass, who controlled them with threads. They flopped down into my arms, and I used scissors to cut their feet off.

30 July 1994 - HEALING FEET

I don't like being a celebrity chiropodist. We had Ben Hur in yesterday. His feet were so wide, I could literally stick my tongue between the molecules.

It tasted funny, like raw liver with a peculiar minty tang. It was both refreshing and hallucinogenic.

2 August 1994 - HEALING FEET

I visited Clemency '94 - the annual chiropody trade show - yesterday. The event was dominated by the antics of one William Dobson, whose towering inflatable snorkel took everyone by surprise.

Later in the day, I saw him being dragged up a tree by a gull.

4 August 1994 - HEALING FEET

Fierce opposition from the rival clinic has forced me to shut down my evil practice.

I have sold nearly all my stock to a croc down the block.

I sold my best frock and my choc, and my musty tin lock. The clock goes tick tock - that jock in a sock!

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