Is An Architect
18 April 1995 - IS AN ARCHITECT
My next building project is a bridge.
I intend to take the bridge concept into a new dimension of fear. My bridge will consist of fourteen heated cables, which run at right angles to the road. As motorists view them, heat radiates out and busts their cars up.
22 April 1995 - IS AN ARCHITECT
My final commission is to design a library.
I say final because it is my intent to help readers overcome their fear of the written word by placing all books in a flaming underground tumulus.
The planners may also dislike my proposed shelf units, which are to stink of meths.
24 April 1995 - IS AN ARCHITECT
As predicted, I lost my job as an architect. Not because of the stupid library I built, but because I got drunk at lunchtime and drew a fox on the managing director's bonnet.
I've been dreaming about this fox ever since. He had a lovely face, and massive ears.