Medieval Torture Victim
28 February 1997 - MEDIEVAL TORTURE VICTIM
The king got fed up with my attempts to make him laugh, so I've been thrown in the dungeon to be tortured.
I've been strapped to a device they call "Dennis the Mover". It's basically a huge barrel. The guards hang me and Dennis from the ceiling, then take it in turns to knock me down. They've got a rowing boat which they've broken into bits, and keep throwing at me. Also, one of the guards keeps throwing pogs at me.
1 March 1997 - MEDIEVAL TORTURE VICTIM
I really hate being tortured and that. Last night I could hardly sleep because of all the stuff that the guards kept doing to me.
I'd been strapped to a liferaft, which was then kicked around the room by four guards. After half a night of that, they threw a pot of grey paint over my shirt and trousers. Then, one of them wrote a powerful swear word on my wrist in lipstick. Worst of all, I was made to listen to a couple of blokes banging on a wok for twenty minutes.