The Man With A Long Chin's Diary


Mouse Catcher


9 March 1998 - MOUSE CATCHER

I’ve been fired by the airline for throwing salt at a passenger called Mr Slug, for a joke. I’m now a self employed vermin exterminator - I’ve called my firm "Rodent-E-Death", because it sounds quite catchy. I’ve bought myself a whole box of mousetraps, including shotguns, bows and arrows, bricks on bits of rope (twelve inch and sixteen inch ropes), and a couple of socks with snooker balls in them. If that don’t get Mr Mouse - nothing will!

10 March 1998 - MOUSE CATCHER

I was hired yesterday by an old dear who claimed a family of mice were living in her attic. Equipped with a big net and a harpoon, I proceeded into the attic to find the source of the "scratching sounds" she’d heard. Laying on the floor was an emancipated figure dressed in rags. He said his name was "Don", and that he’d become trapped in the attic back in 1964, when he’d come to see the beams. I asked if he knew about any mice, but he just shook his head and died.

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