Owner Of A Bakery

25 April 1997 - OWNER OF A BAKERY

I have quit my job as a megalomaniac. I have got a new job now as the owner of a bakery. It's quite good fun being a baker, but my idiot assistant makes life difficult.

His name is Samson 7, and he's a baker's cyborg. He looks normal at first, but if he comes within four feet of yeast he goes insane and behaves erratically. Yesterday a customer came in covered with yeast, and Samson 7 started leaping around the counter making a sound like a car alarm.

26 April 1997 - OWNER OF A BAKERY

I'm having real problems with my cyborg bakery assistant, Samson 7. Last night I was making some eclairs when Samson 7 started laughing at me.

I told him to stop, but he just put his hand over his mouth, and started laughing more than ever. Pretending I wasn't bothered, I continued with the eclairs, but eventually snapped when Samson 7 threw red enamel paint over my back. I chased him out of the bakery, but he was faster than me and got away.

28 April 1997 - OWNER OF A BAKERY

I've received 37 complaints from customers over the behaviour of my cyborg bakery assistant Samson 7. The complaints range from being shown powerful adult images by Samson 7 while buying yeast, to being shown powerful adult images by Samson 7 while buying croissants.

I confronted Samson 7 about his behaviour, but he just started to pretend he was eating an apple. I eventually gave up and punched him in the chest.

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