1 May 1997 - DRIVING INSTRUCTOR
I've got a new job as a driving instructor. Honestly, you wouldn't believe the idiots I get in my car! Last night I gave a lesson to Peter Parker, AKA Spider-Man.
Not only did his hands keep sticking to the steering wheel, but whenever he tried to do a three-point turn, he accidentally fired his web-shooters and covered the dashboard with his sticky strands. I've only ever seen him in the comics - I had no idea his webs stank of rotting prawn crackers.
2 May 1997 - DRIVING INSTRUCTOR
I got a bit drunk last night, and fell asleep in the car while I was taking a lesson. When I awoke I had no idea where I was and started to panic.
The driver had tried to steer the car into a layby, but had succeeded in crashing it through the door of a church. My heart started to race and I began punching the dashboard and kicking the door. I was screaming for help when the driver mentioned that I'd only been asleep for ten seconds.
6 May 1997 - DRIVING INSTRUCTOR
Being a driving instructor is great. Not only do I get to teach people how to drive, but I get to scare them really badly for a joke.
Last night I was teaching some old lady to drive when I suddenly threw myself out of the car. I was slightly bruised, and had a cracked sternum, but it was worth it to see the expression on her face when she finally managed to bring the car under control. It was something of a double whammy, because as she administered first aid, I bit her hand!
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