The Man With A Long Chin's Diary


Practical Jokes


10 October 1997 - PRACTICAL JOKES

I can't remember what I was doing yesterday, so today I'm doing something new. I'm a notorious practical joker down my road, and I thought it would be a good idea to pass over a few of my best ones for you all to try. This joke is called Coin Joke.

Use some chalk to draw a £1 coin on the pavement outside your house, and when passers-by stop to pick it up, burst through your front door and run at them wearing a hockey mask, and brandishing a mallet. Just watch their faces!

13 October 1997 - PRACTICAL JOKES

Calling all practical jokers - here's a great joke for you to try out on your mum and dad! To perform it you need an air pistol and a pot of tar. When your parents call you down for breakfast, cover yourself in tar, and shoot the dining room lights out with the pistol.

As your parents stumble around in the dark, they shouldn't be able to see you, and you'll be free to cause disruption. If all goes well they'll think they've got a poltergeist!

14 October 1997 - PRACTICAL JOKES

Today's practical joke is called "Dadda Foooom". You'll need a hammer, a load of extra bright lightbulbs, a machine that makes electricity circuits work better, and some anti-sleeping pills.

First, slip some anti-sleeping pills into your dad's wine, then relace the bulbs in your house with extra-bright ones, and use the hammer to smash all the light switches. Use the machine to make the lights glow even brighter, and just watch dad's troubled expression!

15 October 1997 - PRACTICAL JOKES

This is the last day of my award-winning practical joke guide, and this is the best joke there's ever been. Save up several hundred pounds, and the next time your mum or step-father asks you to get them some biscuits, use the money to purchase a pair of big skis!

When they're baffled by your surreal antics, explain that you'd misheard them - "big skis" sounding a little bit like "biscuits", you see. It's a genuine laugh riot!

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