The Man With A Long Chin's Diary

 

Robot Designer

14/1/99-16/1/99

14 January 1999 - ROBOT DESIGNER

I have designed a new robot which is specifically configured to be a school bully robot. My plan is to have one of these robots in every school, eliminating the need for the traditional school bully.

When in a group of its peers, the robot is physically threatening, but when alone it just sneers a lot. Also, the robot has a big buzzer on its chest which sounds continuously. This way, weaker pupils will known when it's approaching, and be able to hide behind a wall, or bench.


15 January 1999 - ROBOT DESIGNER

I think I'm going to have to stop being a robot designer, as I have begun to fall in love with my robots. My favourite is FG-100, a robot designed to fit windscreens on Vauxhall Astras.

Last night I tried to take FG-100 to the pictures, but I was unable to unbolt the robot from the floor. We had to stay in with a pizza. Unfortunately, when I activated FG-100 in an effort to feed it some pizza, it attempted to fit a windscreen to my Vauxhall Astra.


16 January 1999 - ROBOT DESIGNER

My days of being a robot designer are over, following my botched attempt to elope with a prototype designed to pebble dash council houses. I had successfully sneaked TH-88 into the back of my car, but as we were driving out of the factory I must have leant on its button.

Within seconds the inside of the car was covered in pebble dash, and I could barely see where I was going. Suffice to say, I lost control of the car, and drove into the factory supervisor, which caused him to explode.


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