The Man With A Long Chin's Diary


Perfume Counter/Scent Designer


12 June 1996 - PERFUME COUNTER

I've been asked to come up with a new range of perfumes for domestic use. I have called them Home Fumes.

The first is a light scent intended to make kids feel free, which I made from old, wet salad and collagen. This is to be known as Beginner.

The flagship scent is made from a latex substitute. Unfortunately, after a while, it glues the nostrils shut.

14 June 1996 - SCENT DESIGNER

I've concluded my perfume-inventing work on the Home Fumes range.

My final domestic scents are Rural Finish, a delightful concoction produced by steeping bits of blueish puppet material in a bowl of sour wasp spit, and Flammable Clansman.

Flammable Clansman is made out of a load of old flags which I sat on to make them stink.

Diary Index | Previous | Next