The Man With A Long Chin's Diary


Mega Games - Company Policy

19 June 1999

Mmmm-bah-so! It is I: Phoning Honey, the behind-phone guy who uses the phone to prank-up games shops. That's right — I really do phone shops up and play with their minds via their ears.

Sssh... SSSSH! It is time for me to get dialling. As always, the names of the call-ups involved have been changed to prevent me — Phoning Honey — from getting into big-style trouble. Ring, ring, ring — it's time for me to sing!


US: Hello, mate. I understand you buy second hand games.

MG: That's right, yeah. I'm afraid I can't give you a price over the phone.

US: Oh. Why's that?

MG: Company policy.

US: Why can't you give a price, though?

MG: Like I say, company policy.

US: It's a bit of a stupid policy, if you ask me, mate.

MG: Yeah, well, other shops do it.

US: Would you stick your hand in a bowl of hot water if the other shops did that too?

MG: No.

US: Anyway, if I tell you what games I'm selling, will you be able to tell me whether you can take them?

MG: Yeah. That's not a problem.

US: Right, I've got Dangerous Duck on the PlayStation.

MG: I don't think I've heard of that. Who's it by?

US: Wickedsoft.

MG: Who?

US: Widget Design.

MG: I've not heard of them either.

US: No? They did Ultra Fishing. Dangerous Duck got scores of 90% plus.

MG: Is it a new game?

US: More or less. Couple of months old. How much will you give me for it?

MG: We can't give out prices.

US: I won't tell anyone.

MG: No, sorry.

US: Siig heel!

MG: Pardon?

US: Siig heel!

MG: Zig what?

US: Siig heel. Achtung. I'm accusing you of being a fascist. Hello?

MG: Don't do that. What have I done?

US: When?

MG: Whaaat?

US: Why?

MG: Yeah, right.

US: Goodbye, fascist!


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