30 November 1996 - ALIEN ABDUCTEE
It's no fun being abducted by aliens. They keep me locked in a tiny cell aboard their UFO. Every half an hour one of them peeks through a slit in the door and throws a coin at my head.
If it hits, the alien laughs, but if the coin misses, the floor of my cell becomes electrified and I have to hang from the light fitting until they switch the volts off. I'm not sure what all this is supposed to prove, but they seem to be enjoying themselves.