This is going to be the last update for a litle while as work will soon begin on the world's first consolidated, fully catalogued and indexed Digitiser screenshot archive, which will come before the end of the year. As for this update, we have a mammoth set of Man Diaries, with all of the Digitiser 2000 entries being added, plus a couple from the very earliest days of Digi on Teletext - see below. There's also three more fake adverts (including 'Das Techno Zone 3'!), and an extra little Rapping Shoe rap for you. Why, I've even found the time to add a couple of extra items to the Digitiser timeline of events. Good, eh?
-24/5/94: 24 MAY 1994
-11/3/95: WORKS ON A GHOST TRAIN
-13/11/14 - 15/11/14: UKCP AND BROWNAROUND
-1/1214 - 3/12/14: FATHER CHRISTMAS
-9/1214 - 11/12/14: VLOGGING
-1/1/15 - 2/1/15: BACK TO THE FUTURE
-18/1/15 - 20/1/15: BEING A MURDERER
-6/2/15 - 8/2/15: HOW TO BE AN INVENTOR
-23/2/15 - 25/2/15: DANCING WITH MADONNA
-20/3/15 - 22/3/15: TOP GEER PRESENTER
-15/4/15 - 20/4/15: AVENGER
-24/4/15 - 26/4/15: MOLECULAR GASTRONOMY
-21/5/15 - 23/5/15: EUROVISION
-27/7/15 - 29/7/15: JAPAN
-1/12/15 - 3/12/15: MISERY AND GREGGS
-23/3/16: BACK IN TIME
-29/4/16: WORKING IN A SAUNA
-6/5/16: MAYOR OF LONDON
-20/5/16: POOING ON THE QUEEN
-27/5/16: ANDREW LLOYD-WEBBER'S CATS
-10/6/16: MALE STRIPPER
-17/6/16: BODY PARTS RESTAURANT
-29/7/16: HORROR WRITER
-1/1/18 - 2/1/18: TIME MACHINE
-3/1/18: QUEEN SINGER
Right, this is a big one - for the last three months I've been working on putting together a comprehensive Digitiser timeline of events. And it's finally done - for the first time ever, we know dates and order for key events. I couldn't have done this without the input and guidance of Mr Biffo, and the information provided by so many Teletext sites and recovery geniuses like Jason Robertson.And especially to the lovely David Walford for the image of Dr How. Thanks to you all. Enjoy!
3 SEPTEMBER 2018
It's another fine crop of Biffovision columns for you this week, with four more being added to the site. And? And: I've only gone and managed to acquire a whole 'slew' more for the purpose of the transcription purpose. Those will be coming soon, but possibly not just yet, for other plans for new content are afoot. This is what we have for you right now, though:EDGE #165, AUGUST 2006 - IS SONY HISTORY?
EDGE #166, SEPTEMBER 2006 - REFUND, SIR?
EDGE #168, NOVEMBER 2006 - DOES GAMING NEED CELEBRITIES?
EDGE #172, FEBRUARY 2007 - IS LENGTH EVERYTHING?
27 AUGUST 2018
Happy Bankuss! There's another four editions of Biffovision for you to gorge yourselves on today, plus I've added an image from the November 1993 issue of Super Control about Digi and The Man to the collaboration page. There be beasties (Biffovisions) here:EDGE #147, MARCH 2005 - GIRL TALK: IS YOUR BOYFRIEND A VIDEO GAME ADDICT?
EDGE #153, SEPTEMBER 2005 - SECRETS AND LIES
EDGE #156, DECEMBER 2005 - LISTING BADLY
EDGE #164, JULY 2006 - FEELING GREEN
20 AUGUST 2018
The Biffovision archiving continues: another four of Mr Biffo's columns for Edge have been added to the site, and there are still plenty more where they came from (I am quite literally in a transcription frenzy at the moment). See? See here:EDGE #133, FEBRUARY 2004 - ON STAYING 17 AND GROWING BREASTS. KIND OF...
EDGE #136, MAY 2004 - WORK, DAMMIT
EDGE #137, JUNE 2004 - SCRIPT FOR A TESTER'S TEAR
EDGE #140, SEPTEMBER - A TALE OF TWO DAVIDS
13 AUGUST 2018
First up: hello to all the fine Digi folk I met at PlayExpo London at the weekend. It was lovely to finally make contact with your carporeal selves. Second up: we have another four Biffovision columns for your delectation! Reading them back as I was transcribing the copy, it's remarkable how prescient some of them still are - and in some cases, how little things have changed in 15 years...
EDGE #125, JULY 2003 - TOO MUCH, TOO SOON - AND WE'RE ALL PAYING FOR IT
EDGE #130, DECEMBER 2003 - ISN'T IT ABOUT TIME LARA CROFT WAS SACKED AS A VIDEOGAME FIGUREHEAD?
EDGE #131, CHRISTMAS 2003 - GAMES ARE NOT BOOKS OR FILMS. DISCUSS
EDGE #132, JANUARY 2004 - JOHN: WE KNOW HOW TO BEHAVE! WE'VE HAD LESSONS
7 AUGUST 2018
Wha? Wassat? 'Wha' 'at' is, is the first update of August. And we're now archiving Mr Biffo's monthly columns for Edge - Biffovision. The first four they published are live now. I've also gone and added new menu images for most of the content that didn't previously have them, and done some general site admin and stuff, but that's not interesting, so never mind that and just focus on Biffo's writing, alright? Alright:
EDGE #121, MARCH 2003 - THE ACCIDENTAL JOURNALIST
EDGE #122, APRIL 2003 - MR BIFFO MOST DEFINITELY DOES NOT LOVE 1982
EDGE #123, MAY 2003 - OKAY CLASS, TURN ON YOUR PS2S AND TURN TO LEVEL FIVE
EDGE #124, JUNE 2003 - THE GAMES INDUSTRY CAN EAT SHIT AND DIE
31 JULY 2018
The final update of July sees the cast of Digi's correspondents join us, as a whole page of the best letters to Digi has been added (of course, the criteria for 'best letters' being 'best replies from Digi'). All the old favourites are there: Hardy, Dantendo, Fassbender (lie). As a consequence of this page going up, I've also been able to add the last ever letters page to the 'final Digi' section, so that's now entirely complete. Don't be the king of the mess-ups: go read them now.
25 JULY 2018
This one has it all. As updates go, it would be easier to list the pages that don't have new content - but that's a stupid thing to do, so I'm just going to tell you what's changed instead. Get this down your face-hole: characters-wise we have more Zombie Dave, more Snakes, more Morse & Lewis, more Rapping Shoe, and more Mr T. There's even another three Man's Daddy jokes from New Year's Day 1999 (they're the ones immediately before the Edward Snowden joke). Plus? Plus! Another Ring-sir! has been added, from the final week of Digi in 2003; a whole slew of extra joke adverts are now present (including classics such as Totally Turts And Phants and The Tea Prancer) more reveals are on board, and I've even found the time to add some new photos from Biffo's March 2003 Digi leaving do. On top of all THAT - we even have another NINE Man Diary entries for you - see below. I need have a lie down after all that...
- -19/6/95: WEEKEND 17/18 JUNE
- -4/10/96: OVERSEAS TEACHER
- -11/10/96: CARTOON PRISON
- -13/4/97: VAMPIRE HUNTER
- -4/7/97: "BRIT-POP" BAND
- -18/9/98: UP A TREE RECORD
- -16/10/98: GORILLA WATCHER
- -30/10/98: CROW MUSEUM
- -6/11/98: JACK FROST
19 JULY 2018
The mission to continue documenting the major hallmarks of Digi continues: today's update is a brand new page of reveals! Obviously, with more than ten years of Digitiser having been produced, this is far from complete - but there's some lovely stuff in here, and I'll be adding to it as more gets discovered. Reveal button chak-chak? Chak-chak-reveal-chak-chak!
12 JULY 2018
On 4 July I was lucky enough to be invited up to watch a day of filming for Digitiser The Show. To say it was a fantastic experience would not be going nearly far enough - and you can now read a full report of the day's filming, complete with photos, to find out exactly why. Oh, and to learn about how the show's coming along too, that bit's interesting as well, I suppose.
10 JULY 2018
There's something a bit different for you in this update: we now have Morse & Lewis reunited and on their own page, plus a new page parading Digi's joke adverts from down the years. But that's not the really exciting thing! The really exciting thing is this thing: Paul Mallinson, ex-staffer of SNES mag Super Control in the early-to-mid '90s, has provided a wealth of pictures from their crossover with Digi during that time - and I've collected them together in a gallery page. So we have a few of The Man's comic strips, illustrations by Mr Biffo, and even an extra previously-unseen photo from the 1993 Digitiser / Super Control Lard Challenge. This is super-rare stuff, man: hardly anyone has seen it for years. And now it's here (here). Bo!
3 JULY 2018
A whole load of different stuff for you in this update - we have a few extra outings for not just Zombie Dave and The Snakes (scroll to the bottom of their pages for two updates each), but Mr T as well. He also has two more messages for you - go down to the bottom of the first section, above the problem page, and you'll find them both. On top of that, there's a few more Digi top 10s, and there's even some more Man Diaries from 1998 to for you to enjoy:
- -11/8/98: CLOWN HOSPITAL
- -16/8/98: KING OF THE SEA
- -25/8/98: PEARLY GATEKEEPER
- -30/8/98: FREAK SHOW
- -10/10/98: PIXIE HUNTER
- -23/10/98 AND 24/10/98: BIG TOMATO
26 JUNE 2018
Hot on the heels of The Snakes, now it's Zombie Dave's turn to get a page all to himself! This should bring smiles to the faces of his putrid friends among the living dead, all frrrrrgn wrrrrrnggggrrrrrrz, and anyone else in fact.
21 JUNE 2018
This is the moment many will have been waiting for since this site's return - including me. Yes, prepare to be cussed bad, as The Snakes get their own page at last. You can thank @wagoo on Twitter for sending me a bulging sack full of old TV card files, mostly from 1998, which captured a whole load of the reptilian duo's earliest appearances on Digi - including the very first one, on 11 August 1998. Massive respect, man.
13 JUNE 2018
There's a real treat for you in this update: the 10th anniversary article that Edge published about Digi in January 2003 has been added to the site in its full 5,000+ words glory. And there's more where that came from...
4 JUNE 2018
We've nearly exhausted the available Digi that's out there on the web to be archived, but there's still some more for you in this update. We have 11 limericks from that crazy Edward Lear guy, and a whole bunch of spoof scripts: five Star Wars, five EastEnders, and three Planet Of The Apes. All the latest stuff has been added to the bottom of the pages - it dates from July to September 2001, so like the recent Man Diary updates, this comes from the final days before the shadow of Digigate was cast across the land. As far as future updates go, I still have a lot of transcription to do as there are plenty of quotes to be added, but after that we'll be moving onto completely new pages of content for the site. Mmmm!
1 JUNE 2018
A mixed bag for this update, with a variety of stuff from the final days of Digi on Teletext from 2003. The last 13 Man Diaries to be published are now available (from the days where he only had half the usual space, as he was sharing a pages with the tips), along with The Man's Daddy climactic four jokes from Digi's big blowout last week on air (search for 'kraken', and they're the next four down). And! Not only that, but we get a couple of outings from Mr T as well! Once more, this is from the last week of Digi from March 2003 - search for 'homebuyers' to find the two that have been added. Now is the time for the listing of the Man Diaries:
- -13/12/02: CHOKED ON A CHRYSALIS
- -14/1/03 - 16/1/03: ARCHANGEL
- -17/1/03: HISSSSSSSSS
- -27/1/03 - 30/1/03: ZOO
- -12/2/03 - 14/2/03: HENHOUSE
- -4/3/03: WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE
30 MAY 2018
The final 19 Man Diaries of 2001 have been added to the archive tonight - these are the last ones missing for the whole year, and cover the 'golden period' that spanned summer and early autumn 2001, before Digigate kicked in and all the funnees vanished. There would be no more from The Man until late 2002, when Teletext conceded that they'd been idiots and allowed Biffo to restore Digi to its former glory.
- -20/6/01 - 21/6/01: DISEASE SPECIALIST
- -6/7/01 - 11/7/01: ZOOKEEPER
- -24/7/01 - 25/7/01: FLAMENCO DANCER
- -14/8/01 - 16/8/01: BRASS BAND
- -30/8/01 - 31/8/01: MONKEY SALESMAN
- -5/9/01 - 7/9/01: ICED YAMS STALL
- -1/10/01 - 3/10/01: HINGE MUSEUM
28 MAY 2018
Today we have a total of 52 Man's Daddy jokes added to the site, mostly from 2001 (do a search for "gruel" - they start directly underneath), which bump up against the infamous Digigate Teletext-enforced culling of humour. From my research, this seems to have come into effect around 15 October 2001, which corroborates Biffo's memories of how things played out. Thanks to Craig Cooper-Flintstone for sending me the ones about tomatoes etc. which he'd saved, as well. We also have a few more Man Diaries, this time from 1999, to add to the growing collection:
- -?/1/99 - 28/1/99: ANIMAL ORCHESTRA
- -29/1/99 - ?/?/99: STAGE HYPNOTIST
- -?/2/99 - ?/2/99: CRASH TEST DUMMY
- -?/2/99 - ?/2/99: DIMENSION EXPLORER
25 MAY 2018
Another big Man Diary update for you today, this time with 31 editions from 1998. In amongst them are extra entries for Wormery Owner, from 20/4/98, and Giraffe Journey, from 24/4/98. You can thank the nice Mr @wagoo for many of these, who supplied a bunch of old PC TV card files that he'd saved back in the '90s. While I don't have the software to access them properly, I was at least able to get at the text by opening them in Notepad. If anyone can open and display teletext VTP files, then I'd love to get your help in viewing them properly - not least because there are a few full runs of The Snakes' outings on the weekend letters page that it would be brilliant to have on the site. Mail email@example.com if you fancy doing a good deed.
- -?/1/98 - 16/1/98: ROBOT DESIGNER
- -?/1/98 - 22/1/98: PRACTICAL JOKES
- -20/4/98: WORMERY OWNER
- -24/4/98: GIRAFFE JOURNEY
- -?/6/98 - ?/6/98: CELEB STAND-IN
- -?/6/98 - ?/6/98: MAN AND GRETL
- -?/7/98 - ?/8/98: ESKIMO
- -?/8/98 - 1/9/98: FREAK SHOW
- -2/9/98 - ?/9/98: BIG-UDDERED COW
- -?/10/98 - ?/11/98: CROW MUSEUM
- -?/11/98 - 5/11/98: AFRICAN AMBASSADOR
- -6/11/98 - ?/11/98: JACK FROST
- -?/11/98 - 12/11/98: CACTUS SALESMAN
- -13/11/98 - 1?/11/98: BROWN SAUCE FACTORY
- -1?/11/98 - 21/11/98: MINNIE THE MONKEY
- -2?/11/98 - 30/11/98: PUNCH AND JUDY
- -1/12/98 - ?/12/98: PATENTS OFFICE
- -?/12/98 - ?/12/98: VET
23 MAY 2018
Twelve Man's Daddy jokes have been added - the first three on the page are from 1995, and the last nine (before the page gets into The Man's jokes at the bottom, after his daddy's) are more recent, from Digitiser 2000 (including the January 2018 25th anniversary material). Zing-zing-zing-zingers!
21 MAY 2018
Four editions of Ring-sir have been added to the site - two from 1995, one from 1996, and the special 2018 '25 Years Of Digitiser' run-out for Phoning Honey. The 'New TV Show' transcript is missing the last one or two pages, so if you have have them, please do mail firstname.lastname@example.org with them so it can be completed.
- -2 SEPTEMBER 1995 - OUR INVENTIONS
- -7 OCTOBER 1995 - OUR FUNNY GAMES
- -27 JANUARY 1996 - NEW TV SHOW
- -4 JANUARY 2018 - ONLINE HELPDESK PRANK
19 MAY 2018
The Man Diary archive has been updated again with 27 editions from 1996:
- -3?/12/95 - ?/1/96: VISITING DADDY
- -10/1/96 - ?/1/96: BEING A VET
- -27/1/96 - ?/?/96: BEING AN A&R MAN
- -?/2/96 - ?/2/96: HIS WOODEN SON
- -?/2/96 - 21/2/96: BEING A COWBOY
- -22/2/96 - 4/3/96: FAST-FOOD FRANCHISE
- -5/3/96 - ?/3/96: CRUISE SHIP CLOWN/IMPRISONED ON SHIP
- -?/3/96 - 20/3/96: RUNNING A JOKE SHOP
- -21/3/96 - ?/3/96: BEING A SMUGGLER
- -?/6/96 - 2?/6/96: LANDSCAPE DESIGNER
- -2?/6/96 - ?/?/96: BEING A JEDI KNIGHT
- -31/7/96 - ?/8/96: BEING A BAKER
- -1?/9/96 - 21/9/96: CAVEMAN
- -22/9/96 - ?/?/96: BOUNCER
- -?/?/96 - ?/10/96: OVERSEAS TEACHER
- -4/11/96 - ?/11/96: HOLIDAY CAMP ENTERTAINER
8 MAY 2018
The Man Diary archive has been updated with a whole raft of entires from 1995 - older than any previously on the site, including some gems featuring Prints and Frank Butcher.
Here's the full rundown:
- -20/8/95 - 2/9/95: WITH PRINTS
- -4/9/95 - 9/9/95: DOG FOOD FACTORY
- -13/9/95 - 19/9/95: AT THE FISH FARM
- -20/9/95 - 2?/9/95: AT HIS FRIEND'S
- -2?/9/95 - 2?/9/95: AND HIS BOARDGAMES
- -2?/9/95 - ?/10/95: WORKS IN ADVERTISING
- -?/10/95 - ?/10/95: WORKING ON A PLANE
- -?/10/95 - ?/10/95: BEING AN EXORCIST
- -?/10/95 - ?/10/95: HALLOWEEN PARTY
- -?/11/95 - ?/11/95: ROMANCE GUIDE
- -?/12/95 - 20/12/95: GERMAN CELEBRITY/TV PRANKSTER
- -21/12/95 - 2?/12/95: SANTA'S ELF
- -25/12/95: FRANK DIARY - WITH FRANK BUTCHER
- -27/12/95: OLD PRESENTS
- -28/12/95 - ?/12/95: CHRISTMAS VIDEOS
5 MAY 2018
The in-depth feature on the feud between Digi and Mean Machines Sega was added. As was this very update page; a new page to cover Digitiser: The Show; a dedicated contact details page to make it easier to "engage" with me; and a Super Page 58 sitemap to help with navigation if the links aren't accessible for some reason.
13 FEBRUARY 2018
After nearly 17 years without an update, Super Page 58 came back with a full site redesign and relaunch. Actual new content was even added. Including! The final ever edition of Digitiser from 9 March 2003; a nascent Ring-Sir! archive, which wasn't covered before; plus the 1995 Digitiser Pant-Oh. We're back, Daddy!