The Man With A Long Chin's Diary


At His Friend's


21/9/95 - AT HIS FRIEND'S

My friend Eldritch and I built a monster today out of some old stuff.

We filled a hoover bag with tuna, stuck an aerial on it, and plugged it in. The beast juddered into life and crashed through the window.

We found it outside in the street. It had split open and a couple of tramps were scraping the tuna into their mouths. It was disgusting.

23/9/95 - AT HIS FRIEND'S

Eldritch and I have built possibly the ultimate monster.

We nailed a radio to a skateboard, sprayed it with chicken fat, and sent it rolling down the path.

When the beast reached the garden gate, two tramps picked it up and started licking the fat off. We asked them to stop, but one of them broke the gate.

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