The Man With A Long Chin's Diary

 

Being A Supermodel

?/5/96-2?/5/96

24 May 1996 - BEING A SUPERMODEL

I've been out in the Maldives on a shoot for a 1997 office supplies calendar.

The photographer has been really awakward: his favourite lense is 23 feet long, and he think it's funny to smash it into my jaw the whole time.

For one shot, he had me hanging from a motorbike sidecar. As I sped past, he lashed out with the lense and knocked me flying into a postbox. The photographer's name is Fran Phrases.


25 May 1996 - BEING A SUPERMODEL

I've got in a bit of trouble over a brand of diet ice-cream I endorsed in a TV ad.

It transpires that it contains unacceptable levels of asbestos and bauxite, and that anyone consuming more than a handful is likely to suffer the following side-effects:

Extra-puffy head; swelling of the nose and the knees; blocking of the mouth; weeping of the front; cracking of the tum-tum; general snakery and snap-snap.


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