Crash Test Dummy
13 February 1999 - CRASH TEST DUMMY
There's nothing quite as great as being in love, especially when the object of your affections is a crash test dummy called Dummy 47b. Trouble is, I can't bear to see my beloved driven at high speed into brick walls.
I've begun making all sorts of excuses to my employers as to why 47b cannot take part in tests, such as her arm has come loose, or her leg has fallen off, or she has caught fire. Sometimes I actually have to saw her leg off or set her on fire to make it convincing.