In Lost Property
3 November 1995 - IN LOST PROPERTY
Yesterday someone brought in an old trunk which had been left outside a pub.
As soon as the bloke had left, we used iron bars to smash it apart.
We'd barely begun when we heard muffled protests from within. After kicking open the lid, we saw to our disgust a partially-clothed tramp. We tried to purify him with a powerful beam of light, but this just made him flake.