The Man With A Long Chin's Diary


Advertising Exec


2 November 1999 - ADVERTISING EXEC

I've got a new job working as an advertising executive. My first big account is for a new brand of exotic coffee: Super Brand. For the coffee's TV campaign, I have chosen to draw from past advertising campaigns, notably the Cadbury's Smash adverts, PG Tips and Nescafe.

In our advert, we have robot monkeys sitting around drinking coffee. At the climax it appears as if the monkeys are going to mate. However, we cut it short, thus maintaining the mystique and sexual tension. Then you hear a load of robotic laughing.

3 November 1999 - ADVERTISING EXEC

Being an advertising executive is the most creative job I've ever had - and I love it! This morning I devised a slogan for a new rival to popular dehydrated snack Pot Noodle. The snack is called "Cup Pasta", and our slogan reads: "Cup Pasta doesn't give you leprosy".

We've looked into it, and we're pretty certain that Cup Pasta really doesn't give you leprosy, so we're on safe ground there. We're just waiting for the lab results to come back before we move onto level two of the campaign: "Cup Pasta doesn't give you worms".

4 November 1999 - ADVERTISING EXEC

My agency has been hired to provide slogans for a new range of leisure gear. I haven't showed our proposals to the client yet, but I reckon they'll love them! Firstly, we're going to promote their hooded fleece tops with the slogan: "Do not flee(ce) - these tops are very hood (good). They're also top!"

Our slogan for their range of tracksuits reads: "Track(suit) for good! These outfits will really (track)suit you!"

They're excellent slogans!

5 November 1999 - ADVERTISING EXEC

Working in an advertising agency is high pressure work, but it's quite rewarding. Our campaign for Northern Poultry Ltd's chicken steaks has just hit the airwaves, and I'm rather impressed with the result.

It begins with a slow motion, black and white, tracking shot of a battery hen farm, overlaid with a single ominous note. It then white-outs, and dissolves to a picture of a cartoon chicken dancing around on top of a wedding cake to some jaunty music. The slogan: "Northern chickens are utter nutters!"

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