Man Diary - With Prints




10 January 1995 - EASTENDERS

The EastEnders script editor has pencilled me in as a possible for the role of the new pet shop owner.

The shop is to be called TR Pets Ltd. It will specialise in exotic brown dogs. The owner is destined to spray pet oils over Arthur's shoes and stockings.

12 January 1995 - EASTENDERS

After accidentally shooting Well 'Ard's mouth off, I've been asked to recruit a new EastEnders dog.

I held auditions all last night. The best candidate was a sausage dog called Gecce. Others included a fox named Renofox, and a bear called Gecce.

14 January 1995 - EASTENDERS

I was sacked from EastEnders after all the dogs I auditioned to replace Well 'Ard escaped and dug up Pete Beale's corpse.

The funny thing is - the corpse was made from plastic, and so hadn't decomposed. Pete looked as fresh as a frozen shell. The dogs went berserk and started laughing.

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