The Man With A Long Chin's Diary


Flamenco Dancer


24 July 2001 - FLAMENCO DANCER

I've got a new job as a flamenco dancer. Unfortunately, I initially misunderstood the job spec, and turned up at my first rehearsal with a flamingo.

Worse still, I didn't give the choreographer a chance to explain before I started whirling round the room, clutching the long-necked bird by its ankles.

However, I think I whirled for slightly too long, because when I stopped, the flamingo vomited on a mirror. It was then that I realised my error.

25 July 2001 - FLAMENCO DANCER

It's probably just as well that flamenco dancing has nothing to do with flamingos, as my flamingo has died after a particularly harrowing tango.

I now have a human dance partner and her name is Mrs Radish. Unfortunately, Mrs Radish is not a real woman, but an ostrich in a dress, with lipstick covering its beak and neck.

The shortage of real women has led to the dance school buying up a flock of ostriches and keeping them in the dance studio's melon cellar.

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