The Man With A Long Chin's Diary


Iced Yams Stall


5 September 2001 - ICED YAMS STALL

I've got a new job running a small market stall selling iced yams. Though I believe my yams are competitively priced (£3.50 for a bucket of 12), I have to date had just one customer.

He bought two buckets of yams, but I later saw him dumping the yams in a bin, and throwing the buckets at a grossly overweight bull, which had somehow become wedged into a nearby level crossing.

After he had gone, I tried to retrieve the buckets, but the bull bit me.

6 September 2001 - ICED YAMS STALL

My plans to establish a thriving iced yams stall hit a setback last night, when a rival iced yams salesman set fire to my stall, and pushed it into the canal.

Not to be discouraged, nor give my rival the benefit of seeing me down on my luck, I began selling tickets to visit the sunken wreck of the yam stall, at a cost of £500 each.

Admittedly, I didn't actually sell any tickets, but at least I had the satisfaction of later seeing my rival choke to death on part of a cockerel.

7 September 2001 - ICED YAMS STALL

Though I managed to salvage part of my yam stock after a vicious rival tossed it into the canal, I fear that I will be unable to re-establish myself as part of the thriving iced yams industry.

Instead, I have decided to run a stall selling burnt masks. I have a wide array of comedy masks of popular celebrities – all of which have been scorched beyond all recognition.

This week we have a special offer: Buy A Burnt Mask And I Won't Flick Creosote At You.

Diary Index | Previous | Next