The Man With A Long Chin's Diary


In Captivity


1 July 1994 - IN CAPTIVITY

Denny Laine led me on a tour of the secret Wings base last night. It was quite a sight; they've built it out of a dead volcano.

The bit at the top has been covered by two massive, wooden doors, which are voice activated. Say the word "plonke-e", and the doors will open.

2 July 1994 - IN CAPTIVITY

There was a big meeting last night which all the members of Wings had to attend.

Denny Laine spoke for the most part, but at the climax, he began to shriek - a sound which caused a stone pillar to shatter, revealing the true mastermind behind their scheme - Andy Rourke out of The Smiths!

5 July 1994 - IN CAPTIVITY

Wings, and their evil leader, Andy Rourke out of The Smiths, have strapped me to a giant, plastic girl.

They plan to launch me into infinity, where I will discover new worlds for them to conquer.

One of these worlds is made of compressed air.

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