The Man With A Long Chin's Diary




10 September 1996 - SUPER-HERO

I got bitten by a cosmic puffer fish last night, and after possibly developing super powers I've decided to become a super-hero.

I've already designed my costume. It's a one-piece, skin-tight, red and brown bodysuit. I disguise my identity by wrapping a tartan scarf around my face and wearing a Sherlock Holmes hat.

My super-hero name is Captain Ingot.

11 September 1996 - SUPER-HERO

I had my first fight with a super-villain last night. The local police station gave me a call, and said that some bloke was running around the shopping centre making a lot of noise.

When I arrived, he was blowing raspberries at some old ladies. I grabbed a bit of foam out of a skip, and smacked the bloke on the back. He dropped to the floor, and when it looked like he was about to get up, I hit him again.

13 September 1996 - SUPER-HERO

I stopped the evil Mr Bones from destroying the world last night. He was about to fire his special gun from the top of Mount Everest, when I ran up to him and kicked the gun out of his hand.

He was a bit annoyed, especially when the gun broke, but I explained to him that destroying the world was bad, and he began to see the funny side. In fact, he was still laughing when I locked him in my wardrobe.

14 September 1996 - SUPER-HERO

I've been forced to hang up my tights after the world discovered my true identity. I was getting changed in what I thought was a phone booth, but actually turned out to be a machine which broadcast my face to every television in the world.

I would've been OK, but at the time I was writing the words "I am a super-hero" on my face in biro. I have been hounded out of town and forced to live in a cave.

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