11 September 1996 - SUPER-HERO
I had my first fight with a super-villain last night. The local police station gave me a call, and said that some bloke was running around the shopping centre making a lot of noise.
When I arrived, he was blowing raspberries at some old ladies. I grabbed a bit of foam out of a skip, and smacked the bloke on the back. He dropped to the floor, and when it looked like he was about to get up, I hit him again.
13 September 1996 - SUPER-HERO
I stopped the evil Mr Bones from destroying the world last night. He was about to fire his special gun from the top of Mount Everest, when I ran up to him and kicked the gun out of his hand.
He was a bit annoyed, especially when the gun broke, but I explained to him that destroying the world was bad, and he began to see the funny side. In fact, he was still laughing when I locked him in my wardrobe.
14 September 1996 - SUPER-HERO
I've been forced to hang up my tights after the world discovered my true identity. I was getting changed in what I thought was a phone booth, but actually turned out to be a machine which broadcast my face to every television in the world.
I would've been OK, but at the time I was writing the words "I am a super-hero" on my face in biro. I have been hounded out of town and forced to live in a cave.