Working In A Circus
10 June 1999 - WORKING IN A CIRCUS
I've got a new job working in a circus. It's a lot of fun, but I don't think I've exactly endeared myself to the clowns.
Firstly, thinking it was rubbish, I threw out their bucket of shredded newspaper - which they use to throw at each other during their performance. Then, during a rehearsal, I dropped a large spotlight on one of the clowns, killing him immediately.
Being clowns, I thought they'd be able to see the funny side, but they just started crying and threatening me.
11 June 1999 - WORKING IN A CIRCUS
I quite like working in a circus, but I sometimes worry that the acts at this particular circus lack a certain dynamic.
Firstly, we don't have any big, dangerous animals, just a couple of stray dogs the ringmaster found on some wasteland, and a pig. Also, none of our clowns can afford make-up, so they just do their routine with their shirts pulled up over their heads.
Lastly, we don't even have a tent: we're forced to perform in the ringmaster's front garden.
12 June 1999 - WORKING IN A CIRCUS
The ringmaster has clearly recognised my potential, and appointed me to a new position of authority within the circus.
He has crowned me "King Of The Circus". As a result, I now have a new, plush, sleeping area in the corner of the ringmaster's caravan, and I'm now allowed to eat hot human dinners instead of the dog-food mixer I was previously given.
My duties still require me to slop out the animal pens, but I have a feeling that this is the start of big things.
14 June 1999 - WORKING IN A CIRCUS
I'm fired from my job at the circus. Apparently, one of the clowns complained that I had been spying on him in the shower. I tried to explain I was looking for Cheeky The Monkey, who had escaped earlier in the day.
Unfortunately, he had misinterpreted my cries of "Come here, Cheeky" as a proposition, and told the ringmaster.
I made a lot of good friends while working at the circus - specifically Cheeky The Monkey - and don't regret a moment of it. Except getting fired.