21 April 1999 - BAKER
I've got a new job working in a local bakery. My boss is a man called Terry, who has been a baker for more than 30 years. Prior to his National Service, Terry was a baker's apprentice. When he came out of the Army he got a job in his uncle's bakery and took over the business when his uncle was tragically killed by a mule.
Admittedly, that isn't the funniest of stories, but then not all stories are funny, are they?
22 April 1999 - BAKER
Working in a bakery is excellent fun - especially when you have a boss like Terry! Yesterday afternoon a woman came in and bought three Danish pastries. As Terry handed them over he said "There you go, madam - five Scottish roasties!". The woman was so baffled she didn't know what to do. She just said "Scottish roasties?" And Terry was like "Only joking, madam!"
We probably laughed about that for something like 20 minutes. It was the funniest thing ever.
23 April 1999 - BAKER
There was a bit of trouble in the bakery last night, when I fell into the pork pie making machine and was transformed into a giant pork pie. I tried to attract the attention of my boss, Terry, but he merely assumed that I had gone home sick.
After about two hours trapped inside the pie I was sold to a fat man, who took me home to eat, and got a real surprise when I leapt out and... actually, I'm making all this up. Nothing like that really happened.