Being A Streaker
7 June 1996 - BEING A STREAKER
Last night I jumped around nude by the poolside during the synchronised swimming final at the 1984 LA Olympics.
One of the judges gave me the thumbs-up as I cannoned into his booth, and a couple of the swimmers shouted out that they thought I looked great.
After two hours I was hyper-ventilating so badly that I thought the crowd were horses at my own funeral.
8 June 1996 - BEING A STREAKER
Last night I created an almighty stink at the 1976 Highland Games when I rode nude onto the stage on a stag.
At first the competitors thought I was Taggart, and gave me a polite round of applause, but when I crashed the stag into a display of black puddings they became restless and disorder broke out.
At the peak of the disturbances, I bade them a fond farewell and rode back into the forest.