31 August 1998 - FREAK SHOW
I think we're going to have to replace some of the freaks in our show, as they're looking a bit tatty now. Our CD-O-Hare - a rabbit with a copy of Dire Straits' Brothers In Arms CD tied to its back - is lame, while our tattooed stoat is dead.
We've been trying to create new freaks by getting a horse to mate with a monkey, but so far everything we've tried has failed. In fact, during yesterday's attempt one of my fellow employees got his arm broken, and cut his shin.