30 August 1998 - FREAK SHOW
We've received complaints that our freak show isn't nearly freaky enough. I've set about hiring some real freaks to spice things up.
For instance, we now have James Marshall, a man who can turn his eyelids inside out, and there's James Crossley, who can touch his nose with his tongue. However, our star attraction is Abigail Jameson, who is able to make herself pass out by holding her breath for about a minute or two. Don't try this, kids! Freak on!
31 August 1998 - FREAK SHOW
I think we're going to have to replace some of the freaks in our show, as they're looking a bit tatty now. Our CD-O-Hare - a rabbit with a copy of Dire Straits' Brothers In Arms CD tied to its back - is lame, while our tattooed stoat is dead.
We've been trying to create new freaks by getting a horse to mate with a monkey, but so far everything we've tried has failed. In fact, during yesterday's attempt one of my fellow employees got his arm broken, and cut his shin.