16 October 1998 - GORILLA WATCHER
I've stopped being a pixie hunter now, because it was stupid. Instead I have a new job studying a family of apes up the Congo.
In order to integrate into the group better, I have bought a load of chocolate banana chews from the newsagents. I also have some sweet shrimps, in case the gorillas don't like the bananas. If that also fails, I resort to my back-up plan, which comes in the form of a big gun.