20 June 1997 - HAIRDRESSER
I've got a new job now as a hairdresser. I tell you - some of the freaks we get in here would turn your stomach. Last night I had some old bird asking for a perm. I pushed her head in the sink to wash her hair and three live baby squid fell out.
I probed her head with my comb and discovered it was literally teeming with aquatic life. Most disturbing of all was a shrivelled miniature drowned sailor which had become trapped under her fringe.
21 June 1997 - HAIRDRESSER
Honestly, I swear some of the old bags we get in here only come in to talk. I was trying to bleach some woman's head yesterday and she would not shut up about her husband's gout. I eventually lost my temper and hit her on the top of the head with my sweeping brush.
Every time she opened her mouth to speak after that I trod on her foot, and gave three sharp taps on the sink with my scissors. I think she got the message.