The Man With A Long Chin's Diary


His Wooden Son


6 February 1996 - HIS WOODEN SON

Pethefenny is a great comfort to me. In the evenings I prop him up over the bottom step and flick bits of food at his little wooden shorts.

He's so funny: every time he gets hit, he clicks his heels together. And if I knock him right over, he rattles about.

The only problem is his tendency to lie. To deal with this, I've developed a system whereby when he tells a lie, I adjust him with a screwdriver.

10 February 1996 - HIS WOODEN SON

Pethefenny and I went on a fishing trip yesterday, but it ended in disaster.

We had just got back into harbour when this big whale rose up out of the sea and sucked us off the deck.

We both ended up stuck in its stinking gizzard. There are loads of other people in here too, including: James Whale, Joanne Whalley-Kilmer and the Prince of Wales (Whales).

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