29 March 1996 - NEIGHBOURHOOD WATCH
After a recent spate of book-burnings- in my road, I'm setting up a Neighbourhood Watch scheme.
At one end of the road, we're planning to erect a massive concrete skull with floodlights blazing out of its mouth. At the other end of the road, two neighbours will stand guard carrying wooden spikes and petrol bombs.
Whenever a stranger comes near, we give him a real good kicking.