24 October 1997 - PARANORMAL INVESTIGATOR
Hello. I've got a new job working as a paranormal investigator for the FBI. My first task was to sort out all the mess left behind by my predecessor.
Honestly - I've never encountered such depravity. His desk was covered with bits of paper, and there was even a cup of two-week old coffee on it. Also, I found a pizza crust in his desk drawer, and a couple of mummified cats under the rug.
25 October 1997 - PARANORMAL INVESTIGATOR
I've been given my first job as a paranormal investigator. My employers, the FBI, have asked me to find out why assistant director Skinny's post sometimes turns up late on a Saturday.
I began my investigations by asking some people I met in the street. They were French exchange students, and didn't seem to know what I was talking about, so I rang my dad up to see if he knew. He didn't either, so I made up a load of lies about Venus and stuff.
29 October 1997 - PARANORMAL INVESTIGATOR
The FBI has asked me to investigate the truth behind the Roswell Incident. A UFO is said to have crashed on a farm in America in 1947, but nobody knows what really happened.
I visited the farm, but the man who owned it was at the library. I waited around for him, but got bored after a few minutes. When I went looking for UFO crash wreckage, I didn't find any, but I did remember the bottle of whisky I had in my car boot. I decided to use that to get really drunk.