1 December 1998 - PATENTS OFFICE
I have a new job working at the Patents Office, or whatever it's called, granting patents to new inventions. We get some real crackpots in here, wanting patents for things that have already been invented.
For instance, last night some guy came in wanting the patent for what he described as the "Shelt-O-Barn: a roofed domicile, for the protection of inhabitants and the living in thereof". When I pointed out that his designs eerily resembled my own semi-detached house, he started crying.