22 January 1999 - PRACTICAL JOKES
You wouldn't believe the opportunities for practical jokes that are all around us. For instance, let's say you fancied livening up a boring morning at church...
Sneak a big broom into church with you, and while everyone else is praying, crawl towards the vicar. Start tickling the vicar's back with the broom, and when he finishes praying and asks you what's going on, just reply: "I'm only brooming you up, man!" Trust me - the congregation will be in stitches!
23 January 1999 - PRACTICAL JOKES
I've recently been playing practical jokes on people at bus stops. My favourite joke is called "Croc Shoc"! Buy yourself a small crocodile, and attach a dog lead around its beak area.
Approach those gathered at the bus stop with a hearty "Don't worry - he won't bite you!". Just as they're beginning to relax, begin to swing the little croc around your head. Close in on the bus-waiters as you do this. They'll either flee, or be flailed by scaly croc skin. It's absolutely hilarious!