2 April 1999 - PRACTICAL JOKES
I've stopped being Poet Laureate and have a new job working in a joke shop. By that I don't mean I work in a "joke shop" - it's a real shop that sells practical jokes.
Some of the jokes we sell in here are excellent. My favourite is possibly our deluxe whoopee cushion. Place it among normal cushions, and when your victim sits himslef upon the joke cushion: WHOOPEE! The live wolverine inside the cushion sinks his claws into the back of their legs. Ha ha ha!
3 April 1999 - PRACTICAL JOKES
We got a new shipment of jokes in from China this week, but I'm not sure how legal they are. My favourite among the batch is the "Tokyo Surprise".
It looks like an ordainary desk calendar, but get this: every month has 31 days on it - even April and September! Those crazy Japanese practical joke inventors! Ha ha ha! Another great joke we got from our Japanese wholesaler is the "Sneaky Edible". It looks like an ordainary desk calendar, but conceals a powerful explosive which detonates on June 12.
5 April 1999 - PRACTICAL JOKES
We had a few customers return practical jokes to the shop this week. First to be returned was a black face soap, which turned out to be wrongly-labelled "arsenic soap".
We also had a batch of whoopee cushions brought back in, which had inadvertently been filled with broken glass. Ha ha ha! I bet someone got a real "whoopee" out of that one! Finally, we are being sued by a man who attempted to use our patented rubber pencil on a colleague, and ended up maiming him from the waist down.