22 August 1997 - STAR TREK
Being the captain of a big spaceship is excellent - I get first dibs on all the birds, as well as having exclusive access to the ship's supply of alcopops.
My first officer, Mr Swanny, and I beamed down to Planet X last night to get ourselves some porky scratchings, but they'd run out. We tried the off licence on Planet Alpha, but the bloke there told us that all his porky scratchings had been damaged by a flood. We had to eat croutons instead.
27 August 1997 - STAR TREK
There was a crisis aboard our spaceship last night when we ran out of Pringles. We still had several tubes of Pringles Light, but nobody likes those, so we had to make an unscheduled stop on Planet 74B to restock our space larder.
Unfortunately, nowhere on 74B sold Pringles - so we had to make do with a couple of bags of Phileas Fogg Punjab Puri and those awful chutney-flavoured mini poppadoms he's brought out. We also picked up a packet of Pom-Bars.