Up A Tree Record
18 SEPTEMBER 1998 - UP A TREE RECORD
I've given up my attempt to break the record for sitting up a tree after the tree caught on fire. I had managed to obtain a barbecue, and was in the process of lighting it, when I suddenly went berserk, and pierced my bottle of lighter fluid with a pen. Suffice to say, the jet of inflammable liquid fuelled the flames, instantly igniting the tree.
In fact, I was very lucky not to die. I later discovered that it was the oldest tree in Britain. Fancy that.