The Man With A Long Chin's Diary




13 April 1998 - WEREWOLF

I’ve stopped being a gardener for posh people because I could no longer tolerate the taunts of my employers. Instead I have contracted lycanthropy, and become a werewolf.

I had a bit of a scare when the doctor told me what I had - I initially thought he said "leprosy". It was quite a relief to hear that my arms weren’t going to rot and fall off, and all that would happen is that I’ll turn into a blood - thirsty half-human wolf whenever there’s a full moon.

14 April 1998 - WEREWOLF

The most embarrassing thing happened to me last night: I was enjoying a meal at an Italian restaurant with my new friend Heinrick, when the full moon came out and I began to change to a werewolf.

First my palms got a bit sweaty, and then I wet myself. I could feel hair pushing through my lips, and I was forced to push my face into my soup to disguise my transformation. I had to leave the restaurant - saying the bowl was glued to my face - to hide my true nature from this lovely German boy.

15 April 1998 - WEREWOLF

My transformation into a werewolf can happen at the most embarrassing of times. I was enjoying a glass of red wine with Heinrich when it happen last night.

He convinced me to seek help, so I checked into a lycanthropy clinic. I feel among my own people here. You wouldn’t believe the different forms the disease takes: there are werecats, werefoxes, werebats, wereworms, werenarwhales, werespermwhales and werewoodlice. By far the worst case is Mr Poppins, the werebra.

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