The Man With A Long Chin's Diary


Freak Show Owner


6 February 1997 - FREAK SHOW OWNER

With the money I made being a human guinea pig, I've invested in a small travelling freak show, once owned by the late Tony Hancock

The staff seem friendly enough, and I've already struck an instant rapport with Julius Meedy, the Dog-Faced Cat. I'm also fond of Father Michael, the Orange-Skinned Priest. He looks exactly like a normal priest until you get up close, and realise that he's not a priest but a couple of satsumas taped to a lamp.

7 February 1997 - FREAK SHOW OWNER

I've been meeting the cast of my travelling freak show. It seems that not everyone approves of the new ownership.

I had a run-in last night with Dougie Unsemmm-ch-ch, the magnetic shark, and Ralph X-Wing, the man who looks a bit like a Power Ranger. They reckon that I'm not a patch on the previous owner, Pat Sharp, who used to feed them 14 times a day. Though I feed them 32 times a day, they complain that their feed is too heavy. But I like rusty hinges!

8 February 1997 - FREAK SHOW OWNER

My travelling freak show has had a run-in with the authorities, after a couple of the freaks got drunk and went on a rampage.

Mickey Mouth, The Boy With A Prawn For His Eyes, and Daniel Rumbi, The Giant Crow, had been swigging Bolt from the bottle since dawn, and went out to find themselves a toothpaste shop. In their confused state Mickey and Daniel wandered into a cuckoo clock shop, and accidentally broke all the clocks. The manager was furious.

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