19 September 1996 - CAVEMAN
I was awoken last night by a terrible sound from outside my cave. The sound seemed to be emanating from beyond a dusty ridge. As I listened, the sound became more defined – like the voices of a thousand angels.
I was gripped with a sudden rage. Picking up an ox jaw bone, I scrambled over the ridge, to be confronted by the source of the noise – a rectangular black monolith. Lifting the bone above my head, I smashed the black thing into tiny pieces. Heh – that showed it good!
20 September 1996 - CAVEMAN
I've given up being a caveman, after a bunch of skinheads burst into my cave last night and began taunting me. They said some really awful things, like: "Cave boy stink us good" and "Cave boy don't know nowt".
I was so upset that I packed my clothes and got the first bus home - at least, that's what I thought I did. You see - this whole caveman adventure had been nothing but a dream!